TO E.A.R.: ONE PIECE OF AN INSOLUBLE, UNBREAKABLE ALMOST 17-YEAR BOND OF LOVE

As that annoying purple dinosaur Barney incessantly and nasally bellowed each morning twenty-something years ago, “I love you, You love me, We’re a happy family, with a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you, Won’t you say you love me Too!”

Second verse: “I love you, You love me, We’re best friends like friends should be, With a great big hug, And a kiss from me to you, Won’t you say you love me too”

(Taken verbatim grammatically, punctuationally and hopefully poignantly).

I love you very much, perhaps more than I have ever loved another human being. I want you with me, by my side forever. I am willing to try harder and do better in an effort to give you what you’re seeking.

And truth be told, I have done that. Just not consistently and most certainly not to your satisfaction. I will continue to try and I will do better.

You say that you don’t want to torture me.

Well, you don’t.

Quite to the contrary; you make me happy.

But when you are unhappy it affects me over time. I try to cheer you up, make you smile, uplift you.

Sometimes it works; there are times when it has little or no impact. And that saddens me.

Occasionally — in fairness rarely as compared to my behavior as a younger man — the sadness stokes anger resulting in an ill-timed outburst of some sort.

Like last night’s rendition.

Did drinking add fuel to this fire? Maybe.

But I have felt this way too when alcohol has played no role.

You learned in your research and education back in the day that one cannot control another’s behavior.

I cannot snap my fingers and demand that you be happy and positive; it simply doesn’t work that way. You must be in the cockpit at the controls when it comes to this.

As I must try harder, so must you.

Which brings me to this.

Ours is a partnership.

We work together. Always have and always will, I hope. I love you and I know that you love me.

I don’t want you to go anywhere.

I want you to want to be with me.

But I can’t control how you think.

I will try to do my part to make you feel this way but you too must do.

And not just in a reactionary way or in response.

Take the bull by the horns. Come out swingin’. Be happy from the get-go.

FOR YOU FIRST.

Then for me.

I love you E.A.R.

I would also be thrilled beyond words if our nearly 17-year love affair lasted a lifetime.

It can and it should.

Love,

Me

[Editor’s Note: This piece was written by Mr. Kaplan in December 2016.]