I DUNNO…I’D LIKE TO HANG AROUND WITH ME!!!

I must have an inflated opinion of myself.

Given the opportunity, I would love to hang around with me.

I was raised to think that I was no better than the next person, certainly in an effort to keep my ego in check but also as an endorsement of the beauty of self-effacement and a repudiation of self-aggrandizement and all that it embodies.

This was actually an easy sell and I embraced it without sacrificing or compromising my self-confidence.

I was also taught from an early age about self-esteem and its unquantifiable value. The only person going everywhere with you always — and forever — will be you. Better to like and get along with yourself than not. Simple to say, more difficult to engineer.

But not for me, as I recognized that the element of respect was implicit and tightly interwoven here. Respect for others and respect for yourself. Each a critical imperative. And something that was, is and will continue to be very important to me.

So, there is a balance — more delicate for some than for others — which must be discovered, identified, put into place and achieved.

Modesty (real not false) spiced with a touch of artful (also real) self-deprecation and mixed with a healthy dollop of outgoing and incoming respect combine to help build the foundation for a persona which can become magnetic.

But the aforementioned self-esteem is the key which unlocks the door. And knowing how to talk to people — an art form in and of itself — surely doesn’t hurt.

Then there is the power of humor with its pied-piper attraction and vise-like hold.

But wait. This is starting to sound to me like a premeditated, concocted sham.

Contrived and insincere.

That is hardly my intent. Rather, I am trying to break down and examine the kind of personality which draws people to people naturally. And not in some nauseatingly self-help way. More organically if you will. Legitimately. Without agenda.

Because I think I can relate (and if you’ve read up to this point you should realize that I know it’s not all about me). In that vein, I apologize; I guess there is in fact an agenda lurking behind the scenes.

Let’s see.

Some folks catch the eye with their stunning good looks or tasteful style. Others with their bare-to-the-bones physical appearance or their intelligence quotient. Their eloquence. Their ability to elocute. Their raconteuring skill. Their positive energy. Their sense of humor. Their kindness. Their grace, athletically and otherwise.

Their ability to listen! (I’m not sure, but this may be the most wonderful and powerful “eye-catcher” ever).

There are others who bring none of this to the table and that’s what makes horse racing. To each his own. It’s all well and good. Because you take care of yourself. Colloquialisms? Maybe.

But the meaning is that you mold and sculpt your own personality and what goes with it, not someone else’s. Way above your pay grade — and everybody’s for that matter.

So your responsibility in this scenario is to yourself which makes it rather easy. All you have to do is be the best person you can be, incorporating all of your God-given gifts and inculcated pearls.

With unwavering attentiveness to this, you win.

Another one of those colloquial gems is this: The smartest person in the room is the one who knows what he or she doesn’t know.

The idea is to talk about what you know; otherwise listen. Get good at this listening thing and don’t overdo it on the talking.

Listening means learning. Talking? Too often banal, hackneyed, platitudinous and soon stale as an old loaf of bread.

Unless you know how to do it. Which is to say carefully, sparingly and in a timely and impactful fashion. This talent is honed to its finest edge by listening.

Talking “the right way” is like baiting a hook and can act as a seductive prop. To do so skillfully is to lure ’em in and keep ’em coming back. But this is not a tutorial on the power of gifted oratory. Rather it is an attempt to underscore the significance of a key personality trait.

Genuine kindness and the sincere concern for the welfare of others is equally alluring and attractive and perhaps even beguiling but in a good — not deceptive — way.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather pass some time with a caring person than a self-absorbed one. I mean you gotta care about others and not only yourself or you’ll find yourself by yourself before too long.

Which may be fine for some by the way. Just not for me.

Then there is the matter of achievement, accomplishment. This is the backbone of a good, healthy life.

From the time we are wee our parents, mentors or whomever we trust, strongly advise us to set goals and try like mad to meet and even surpass them. Follow your passion(s) and be tenacious about it.

You don’t have to find your name on the Forbes lists of the most wealthy or successful people and you don’t have to hit 500 HRs (no ‘roids). You simply must try as hard as you can at whatever you set out to do and never give up, all the while being the best person you can be.

And if that is your greatest achievement, you could have done a lot worse, believe it. Plus, you stockpile plenty of self-respect as well as the respect of others. Not to mention “cred” as in credibility, the importance of which could never be overstated.

When I was a younger man I was convinced that I could be a pal of Larry Bird’s or ask Katie Couric for a date and get an affirmative reply — by being me. Honestly.

Sheer folly perhaps but I really thought I could do it. These people would be nuts if they didn’t want to hang around with me, I mused. I knew how to do it and believed I could do it.

This was hardly an obsession and not surprisingly I never actively pursued it. The point is that I could actually envision it happening. And although nothing was to come of this fantasy, many lessons can be learned from it.

There is no substitute for self-confidence and self-esteem provided that it’s not grossly misplaced. Seeing something happen repeatedly before it happens can serve as an effective conduit to and facilitator of achieving the desired end-result.

Personality — and its integral component pieces — is the lifeblood of one’s character.

And anybody who doesn’t want to hang around with me is a certifiable loon.

Even if I do have a slightly skewed view of myself.