E.A.R. PAPA EDDY. THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND. (DAUGHTER E.A.R.’s WORDS, NOT MINE).
Carlton Clothes. Automobiles. Mini-Cooper. Morgan. TVR. Gremlin. Corvair… Ad Infinitum. Model Cars. Akron. Running. Marathoning. Tuna Fish. Baseball. Cleveland Indians Baseball. Cleveland Indians Period. Leggo-meister.
Husband. Father. Grandfather. Brother. Fraternity Brother. Loyal Friend.
Relentless, Merciless, Take-No-Prisoners, Get In the Car And Drive To Jersey, Price-Busting Bargain Hunter.
Target. Wegmans.
A Sweet Man. The Kindest Man. Uncommon Tenderness For A Straight Male.
Talkative When Queried.
Rich, Melodic Singing Voice Unlike Voices of Wife And Daughter.
SIMPLY PUT ???
The Absolute Best. The Gem of Gems. One of A Kind.
Well E.A.R./P.E., born on the twenty-fifth of May in the year of Our Lord 1937 makes you eighty years old with no wiggle room.
Can’t get out of it, but then why would you want to?
The notion that you could be 80 is tantamount to my playing for the Red Sox, or for your Indians.
Unfathomable. Incomprehensible. Laughable even, I’m afraid.
Life is good for you E.A.R./P.E., your recent medical travails notwithstanding.
Look at whatcha got.
Let’s start with your demure and devoted wife. Such a wallflower. After all this time, it’s unimaginable that you couldn’t bring her out of her shell.
Oh, wait. She’s out. One of the many reasons you love her, no doubt.
Your family.
Three great children who are completely different and equally outstanding human beings.
Your burgeoning circle of grandkids, four beautiful and independent young creatures. Watching them grow is an indescribable and undeniable pleasure.
Your college pals — The Band of Brothers if you will — and your Akron cronies. ‘Come As You Are Parties’; the Gourmet Club; traveling together and making lasting memories.
Lest we forget that you were Akron’s ’60s and ’70s Fashion Guru, the Style King, hip and happening, dispensing tips cheerfully and modestly when asked.
Quite a legacy.
What could make any man more proud really?
Looking back and moving forward.
You’ve packed a lot of stuff into these eighty years so far.
I know this by osmosis only, because I’m the singular person present who is not related to you by either blood or marriage.
But I know. There are pictures. Other reliable documentation.
Point is, you’ve always loved to live life and still do. And so long as you keep thinking right…my, my my EA.R./P.E..
What a bright future for you, huh?
Forget about what you may or may not hear.
And God willing your health will continue its upward trajectory.
You are a terrific father and a remarkable grandfather.
A wonderful husband.
The best friend.
You have inner strength, you are positive, sensitive, empathetic and compassionate. You persevere, never entertaining the notion of giving up; never was, nor will ever be an option.
You are moral and just.
And thank God you know how to laugh, critical in today’s world especially.
Everybody in the room loves you E.A.R./P.E.
Everyone who knows you, loves you.
Sign me up!!
Happy Birthday and many, many more!!!!!
[Editor’s Note: This piece was written by Mr. Kaplan in May 2017.]
